Infant University

When I discovered I was pregnant with Bb, other than being elated/ nervous/ ridiculously under prepared for a pretty dodgy pregnancy with SPD (PGP) I wondered about taking a year out from my current studying innings, with the Open University: a degree in Creative writing and English literature which I've always seen as a little bit of "me" time. Being totally inept at snap decision-making I reached out to fellow student/parent wisdom via social media, and received various responses to a question I had no clue to the answer... "Is it even possible to study with a baby?" The short answer is YES! But the longer answer is: whilst it's possible it can be incredibly difficult and being super organised is key (along with incredible family/ friend support to hold the baby for an hour here and there to get assignments completed and ticked off the pretty intensive assessment schedule). A fellow student mum came back to me with, "It'll be so much easier with a newborn than a toddler." Quite conveniently Bb cropped up into the inferno of heat (not the convenient part) that was the summer of 2018 and also the standard lull in the academic year (cue convenience part). Bit of an early-days mum-win for sure. This also meant that Bb's Dad was on summer holidays for 6 whole weeks (#lucky) AND that term-time was a few months away still.

That summer fattened with cluster-feeding (if you're an expectant mum, web search this, I wish I'd known! If you're a breastfeeding mum, you KNOW- #respect). It was insane and a gigantic shock, nothing like the images I'd seen portrayed EVER in life, but... it eased off in the end, after about 6 weeks the feed lengths had thinned out considerably. So, term started, and I adjusted to studying with a baby by my side (limpit-ed on) or my husband or mum would take Bb for an hour or 2. A couple of false starts saw me pegging it home from cafes with my laptop, dragging a horrifically-knackered me down, as Bb clearly wasn't ready to be sans boob for longer than 45 minutes. However, we got there in the end: 6 assignments submitted for the year with 1 big final project thrown in for good measure. We even managed to travel to a study day in the next county and with some awesome support from tutors at the OU my husband and baby bundled onto the train and came to meet me at the study destination during breaks so Bb could feed. It was intense, I know I forgot to eat and fluid intake was possibly had but I remembered feeling parched and wiped out after the massive 4 hours of face to face learning. But we did it! Flash forward 2 months and we repeated the above adventure, only this time, it was a solo mission with ALL the expressing equipment in tow. Again, the OU tutors were really supportive about letting me go express in the breaks of study. Fairly sure eating and drinking were off the menu that day too (breastfeeding and expressing sure can take up a lot of time in the early months). It was such a great narrative though, taking a plethora of information from the day school and sharing a train home with peers, where study buddies emerged and ideas exchanged (right place right time #networking). However, with one year left I'm worried I'll miss out on Bb's development, laughter, tears, life... the list goes on. This time next year it will all be over, if I carry on. A whole degree finished complete, boss-level, won. So is anything different to last year? (About a million things!) Cluster-feeding is all but an oddly fond memory, Bb eats solid food these days, and drinks water so he CAN hang out with other people and be parted from his mum for longer than an hour at a time. Being nack at work 4 days a week convinced me of this pretty quickly. Now I've cooled off from the heady deadlines of final assignments I am tempted to fill in next year's application... but will I regret missing out on the magical years with Bb? After all, one fact that is certain, you never get the time back.