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Writer's pictureFreyja Torn

How to move house with a baby?...

Opinion. Experience.

(**This article is simply a post of personal experience and in no way a recommendation for co- sleeping. For any further info on the safety aspects please contact your health provider for up to date information. **) 

... answers on a beer mat please! (Somehow I'm still not drinking alcohol- life is hard enough without a hangover to contend with!)

Amongst other things, this house move will signal my baby boy going into his own bedroom, minus me: or rather, I'll be minus him... How does this even work?? We decided to save the room changing event until we moved house (nobody likes change at ours but a larger home has become a necessity). Initial thoughts were that it would happen when Bb turned 6 months old, our decision based on the current Nhs advice (nhs online, 2018) But he will now be 7 months on the move date, hopefully the extra few weeks won't have any lasting impact, who the hell knows right?

Co- sleeping with my baby

Until now my main method of clocking up sleep hours has been to co-sleep with my baby boy and more specifically, to bed-share. It's a controversial subject but it has worked well for myself and Bb. My husband and I have vastly different opinions towards co-sleeping and in fact, in those cloudy, infant weeks, I was convinced that his fear of rolling onto Bb was a well founded one. But, after a safe, dry-run bewtwen myself and Bb we have never looked back. So what changed? On the morning I finally made it to a breastfeeding support group (worth their weight in platinum by the way: if you're struggling with breastfeeding, in any way, just go!) I met an angel! This lady was obviously as tired and emotional as I was (if she's reading this, my apologies, but your tiredness shone like a beacon of hope to me, in a sea of mass mum fakery you stood out like a gallant light house, thank you xxx). We got to chatting, in that vague, it-hurts-to-talk way, only available when massively sleep deprived. I'm not sure we even did the polite intro smile, neither of us had it going spare. She said everything I was too scared to say out loud, and from that point on I felt like a mum, and less like an imposter, blindly swimming through a murky sea of pea soup. We shared in some similar latching-baby issues and the inevitable sleep topic reared its sickly head. She flagged her own experience of co-sleeping and how to do it safely if I chose to do it, and where to find safe, evidence-based information to back up these aspects. I'm unsure if it was the sleep deprivation, or if she even existed at points but she had me hooked. I remember thinking, 'If I'm going to trust anyone right now it's this woman right here in front of me. This woman is talking to me like a survivor, a survivor who is paralleling my own, messed-up, time warp.' Later that day I trawled the internet and my world opened up even more! So much information out there regarding safe co-sleeping practices. And social media support groups are rife with this kind of information. Particularly, I found (still find) breastfeeding support pages helpful, as it seems co-sleeping and breastfeeding go hand in hand. Throughout history and other cultures in fact, it's common not to think twice about partaking in such an instinctual behaviour.  'In traditional societies, babies are kept near their mother. Mothers in nonwestern cultures who traditionally sleep with their children say that they do so to monitor them, keep them safe, facilitate breastfeeding and, simply, be near them.' (Ncbi, 2004)

So when breastfeeding a baby the evidence acknowledges that co-sleeping does occur and some practices facilitate safer co-sleeping, if you choose to do it, as long as certain rules are followed. A reputable source for information is available from the following link: https://www.nct.org.uk/baby-toddler/sleep/co-sleeping-or-bed-sharing-your-baby-risks-and-benefits The point of writing this really, was to stand up and be honest about my sadness towards our co-sleeping journey ending. Although, in reality this may well be a steady decline, nothing will ever trump the overwhelming feeling of love I get, and give when I am close to my child, asleep or awake. And no doubt, there will be nights where I'll chuck a blanket on the floor of the new place, when he won't settle without me and we'll crack on from there. This move will almost parallel my return to work (*again sob*) which just seems crazy: so much is changing all at once and it feels overwhelming at times. No doubt, I'll have a wobble, and clutch on tight to family and friends for emotional support over the next little while. I hate to think of mothers out there without a good support network nearby. If i didn't have my nearest and dearest down the road I would never leave social media support pages and I'd be attending any and every "mum-meet," or "parent support cafe." Even if I was shy, it's impossible not to go to one of these things and have someone ask you how old your baby is and start nattering away (nb. I am that person so I'll always say hello!x)

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. **this article is simply a post of personal experience and in no way a recommendation for co- sleeping. For any further information on the safety aspects please contact your health provider for up to date information. **

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Peace out! References & bibliography:

Ncbi website (2004), 'Recommendations for safe sleeping environments for infants and children', [accessed, 18.2.19], available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2724135/ Nct website (2017), 'Co-sleeping or bed sharing with your baby: the risks and the benefits', [accessed, 18.2.19], available from: https://www.nct.org.uk/baby-toddler/sleep/co-sleeping-or-bed-sharing-your-baby-risks-and-benefits 

NHS online (2018), "Reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS)', [accessed, 19.2.19], available from: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/reducing-risk-cot-death/ 

UNICEF online (2017), 'Caring for your baby at night', [accessed, 19.2.19] https://www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/baby-friendly-resources/sleep-and-night-time-resources/caring-for-your-baby-at-night/ 

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