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Writer's pictureFreyja Torn

Weaning saved me from that last slice of cake.

Weaning my son onto solid foods has hugely reflected my dietary choices right back at me and I'm pretty damn grateful that it has to be fair. I was eating crap, all the time. And the change hasn't occurred through choice per se, but through sheer laziness, on my part. Until now I'd just wait for the little guy to go to bed, a routine I've managed to stick with since he was 10 weeks old (possibly the ONLY routine I've managed to stick with - again, probably because it benefits me?). Bedtime finalised and executed I would head down stairs, to the glorious comfort of the sofa (old, brown and corduroy, with zero posture support, yet akin to a velvet - clad, golden throne between the hours of 7-9pm). Once settled, the thought of cooking would inevitably draw a blank. It takes me far too much effort to think about what I want to eat at the best of times so shattered and lacking in creativity I would reach for the assortment of confectionary and cold carbs which I kept dotted around the seating/ slumping areas in the living room. Before you heckle with, "switch to healthy thanks, mum!" I tried that, and it was the only thing to make me jump in the car, and travel the 60 seconds to the closest shop to re stock the nutrient - crap snacks.

I digress... Shoot forward 6 months and weaning my son onto solid food has turned into a weaning journey for my own calorific intake. Nutrition is like this shining, neon, restaurant sign, luring me into its clutches. I'm certain that healthy food is the type my son should be receiving and so far, I've not fed him any cake, so surely I'm winning right? Owing to the joys of broken sleep, my urge, and drive to cook, post Baby boys bedtime, is teetering on the edge of existence still. So, I'm in this funny state of purgatory, where I have no energy to go and buy the crap stuff, when there's already some healthy stuff in the house for my baby boy, so I end up eating that. Also, he's far more interested in eating his dinner if I'm eating too. If my husband eats as well, well! That's like a merry feast for all! Baby stepping stones will be my thought process with this. It's ridiculous to think I'll simply change my diet habits, over night. But I can see the logic in a gentle and steady approach now, to becoming happier with myself and surely that's accessible to us all? With a little bit of self love chucked in, for balance. I keep reading this expression at the moment, "living my best life." As usual with these sayings, I'm not entirely sure what it means... but I'm pretty sure it fits with what I'm trying to say. 

I've made a promise to myself (and therefore my family) that once we've moved house (one week to go!) and have space for a dining table and chairs, then we will start eating together, the majority of the time. And we WILL eat plenty of fresh fruit, and vegetables, and whole grains... (okay, so we will try).

Saying this now, I know my enthusiasm for new routines will wane at some point over the next month and there will be nights where I just get the baby fed, and put him to bed, before devouring some: chocolate, cake, selection pack of patisserie, the list goes on. But! I am a big believer in positive thinking and striking ahead with well - intentioned plans. So... off we go! In the meanwhile, I've only got rice cakes and marmite in the house... *and emergency chocolate in the car*

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